Closing the Gap

I got a phone call from Deanne Delbridge yesterday. I left a book at her place like 10 years ago, and she called me to get my address to return it. I met with her once when I was just starting to make the break from assisting. It was crazy to think about how much time has passed, and how many jobs I've done since then.

We talked for a while about the Bay Area photography market, and how unique it is. When I told her that I feel like a smaller fish in a bigger pond there, she disagreed, saying that I am "unique" and that I will always work, because I have "talent AND ambition."

I've never been comfortable with compliments like these. I feel like I don't deserve them. Not yet, at least. There is still more work to do, more skills to acquire, hurdles to clear, and creative leaps to make before I start patting myself on the back.

I tried to explain this to her, but I think it just confused her. Maybe I wasn't being clear. The next day, I saw this post on APE where Ira Glass (of This American Life) explained exactly what I was trying to say. It's about the difference between the work I'm making and the work I want to make. There is a gap there that I am constantly trying to close.

Thanks to Rob and Ira for helping me clarify this.